Tribute to my Mom for her 80th birthday
This is a transcript of a short speech I made at my Mom's 80th birthday party on 7/18/09 in Fort Collins, CO. Her real birthday will be August 14.

This may be a good time for some of you to get up and get some more
cake or something to drink, because nothing I say here is going to be
a surprise to any of you. For those of you who stay, I'd just like to take
you on a guided tour of what it's like to have Viki in your life.

The one phrase that keeps coming to mind for me about my Mom is
"fierce love." The thing that most stands out for me about her is her
unending willingness to examine anything that gets in the way between
you and her. She'll fess up to just about anything about herself that
she needs to bring love back. Oh, and she'll fess up anything about
you, too, if she thinks you need it. Though there's been a whole lot
less of that lately, and the quality of what remains is excellent. And
if she gets it wrong, whatever it is, she's always willing to do it
again, open it up again, try again, go over it again, until both of
you get it and peace comes back.

It isn't enough for her to just win. You have to both win. And if you
don't, then it ain't over, and God help you. She's not only on her
side, she's on your side, too. And she's always willing to laugh at
life, and laugh at herself, and laugh at you. And if you have a
problem with that, you should probably get over it. Because God knows,
even if you don't, that you are no less ridiculous than she is. Even
if you're less willing to show it than she is. Because Viki's wise
enough to know that whatever it is that's so funny about herself or about you
isn't what really matters. And she's certainly good for a
laugh. Always has been.

Viki's always preferred sins of commission over sins of omission. She
likes to quote Luther on that: Luther said, "sin bravely that grace
may abound." So I guess, once a good Lutheran, always a good
Lutheran. But whether it's for the sinning, or for the bravery, or
both, grace does indeed abound. Her battles with herself, and with us,
have produced that finest product of old age: the person who is a
distillation of herself, and not a caricature. Those times
that some of you may remember with her that were not so peaceful have
boiled away. And what remains is what was always there: what we always knew
was there, because we had daily experience of it, like intervals of
sunlight between storms.

What remains is generosity and humor, peace and love and wisdom. And
yes, occasionally the trouble that love and wisdom bring. She brings
that faith and that willingness to throw herself into the white water
so you can both swim out. And that fierce love. And she spreads it to
others, waking them up, bringing them back, maybe not always gently,
but increasingly so.

Finally, what Viki trusts is that whatever is sane and right and joyous
in you, can communicate with the same in her. And you'd better believe
it will, eventually. And lately, that part, too, comes more easily.

So thank you Mom, for your fierce love. Thanks from all of us. You did
good.